To be honest, five years ago I would not have thought I would be in this position, a newlywed to a sex offender. Not just a sex offender but according to this state a violent one that is considered dangerous for the rest of his life and will be required to pay a fee to register yearly, to have our address, his place of work and a photograph posted online for everyone to see. This is a list that used to only be available to law enforcement, but now can be just Goggled.
There have been vigilante action against sex offenders because of this public list, yet the general public does not see an issue with this type of behavior. In fact they condone it in some cases. Politicians use the backs of sex offenders to garnish poll points when they are campaigning, citizens buy it hook line and sinker every time, just as they would believe a magic trick they see done by Houdini.
We do not have lists for drunk drivers, murders, serial killers, armed robbers or any other violent crime perpetrators. What makes sex offenders perceived as so much worse than those other violent offenders? The politicians say it is the children and parents say it is the children. This tactic has been used by the Nazis before WWII, when they made changes they said a great deal that it was for the good of future generations, the children.
Do not get me wrong, children do need protection, that is what nature created parents for. Where are the parents in all this? Oh yes, glued to the computer screen looking up who could be living in their neighborhood that could be a sex offender. What they should be doing is spending time with their children they are to be protecting. I do realize that times have changed, most households have to have two incomes to survive, so children do not get the same physical attention as they have in decades past, but this is no reason to single out one group of offenders.
I am newly married to a sex offender myself and live in a different home because of the registry. I would lose my job if my husband lived with me! It is almost unbearably stressful on a daily basis to deal with this situation. He is considered to fall under what is referred to the "Romeo and Julliet" crime yet he is in year 10 of a very long sentence and is required to be on GPS for life. He encounters a million more problems because he had 2 convictions instead of only one! Both were him as a teen and with another consenting teen, but because it was TWO convictions he is on GPS for life automatically and registers for Life automatically and has spent 6 years in prison so far...with another 6 years of supervision remaining we all know more prison time could very easily happen! And because he is monitored by electronic bracelet and GPS, naturally he will spent several times a year locked up due to some malfunctions or tech issue. He already has about 2 weeks of 'served' prison days from this. And they want him to get a job or go to school! Why, so he can get locked up for a few days due to something out of his control and lose his job or fail out of school??! And then there is the financial burden of all of this to us...besides the probation fees and registration fees and polygraph fees, once he can either afford to pay or is off supervision he will be required to pay monthly a rather steep fee...as high as around $250 a month or so!! And with the recent Halloween holiday, he had 2 agents and a sherrif just walk through the entire home checking for anything considered a halloween decoration or costume...I asked him what about living with other people?? I LOVE decorating for Halloween! I dress up. What about having kids?? They should pay for this?? Its insane!! Especially the part of not being able to have something INSIDE your own home!! This whole topic makes me so angry every day sometimes I cannot handle it and feel like the next drug created should be a calming drug for spouses of Sex Offenders! Please let me know what I can do to help make positive changes. I feel days just keep passing by and nothing changes but there is plenty of talk about change...so please if there is action that can be taken and you need another body to help, let me know!
ReplyDeleteI am newly married to a sex offender myself and live in a different home because of the registry. I would lose my job if my husband lived with me! It is almost unbearably stressful on a daily basis to deal with this situation. He is considered to fall under what is referred to the "Romeo and Julliet" crime yet he is in year 10 of a very long sentence and is required to be on GPS for life. He encounters a million more problems because he had 2 convictions instead of only one! Both were him as a teen and with another consenting teen, but because it was TWO convictions he is on GPS for life automatically and registers for Life automatically and has spent 6 years in prison so far...with another 6 years of supervision remaining we all know more prison time could very easily happen! And because he is monitored by electronic bracelet and GPS, naturally he will spent several times a year locked up due to some malfunctions or tech issue. He already has about 2 weeks of 'served' prison days from this. And they want him to get a job or go to school! Why, so he can get locked up for a few days due to something out of his control and lose his job or fail out of school??! And then there is the financial burden of all of this to us...besides the probation fees and registration fees and polygraph fees, once he can either afford to pay or is off supervision he will be required to pay monthly a rather steep fee...as high as around $250 a month or so!! And with the recent Halloween holiday, he had 2 agents and a sherrif just walk through the entire home checking for anything considered a halloween decoration or costume...I asked him what about living with other people?? I LOVE decorating for Halloween! I dress up. What about having kids?? They should pay for this?? Its insane!! Especially the part of not being able to have something INSIDE your own home!! This whole topic makes me so angry every day sometimes I cannot handle it and feel like the next drug created should be a calming drug for spouses of Sex Offenders! Please let me know what I can do to help make positive changes. I feel days just keep passing by and nothing changes but there is plenty of talk about change...so please if there is action that can be taken and you need another body to help, let me know!
ReplyDeleteWe can always use another person to help with this slow and deliberate fight. Please email me privately wisconsinrsol@gmail.com and there is always something to do, most of which only require time and access to a computer and/or the ability to write snail mail letters to your local lawmakers and the surrounding districts.
ReplyDeleteFeel free to get a hold of me anytime.